Oct. 27th, 2012

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Today I learned a valuable lesson from the headmaster of life. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I relearned it in a remedial class I've failed for the 897683468th time: never look forward to something so much that it leads to non-alocoholic inebriation (i.e. drunk on excitement).

Over a month of anticipation of the Halloween season and Halloween Day itself, I have been issued an injunctive backhand against having any holiday spirit (issued by the city and my noxious lot of locally-situated Facebook friends list people). Halloween this year was apparently Halloweekend. The chabouk has struck; "FRIENDS" used INJUNCT; it's super-effective! Bah humbug. Bah. Fucking. Humbug.

Conducive to the infarctogenic, vertiginous, ebullient fury from bearing witness to these people participating was the fact that much of the lot needed not even belabor their minds over particulars such as venues or costume ideas; they just had to show up to one of the parties to which they had been invited, being able to assume that their friends would plan their Halloweens for them. Last-minute spiriting is obviously the way to go -- or having friends. As the sage words have too many times been tweeted: "Friend? Sorry, I don't have that Pokémon." Perhaps I'm eligible to go on friend welfare and collect stamps allowing me to subsist socially IRL on rent-a-friends. Or something of the sort.

There will not be any Internet Appreciation today, as I did not appreciate the internet at all today.


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